Blogs, Articles & Long Reads
DISCLAIMER: Narcissists are not all male. Using male pronouns to reference the narcissist and female pronouns to reference the victim-survivor is not an indication of the clinical data on gender in narcissism, but rather an editorial choice. This blog is written for female survivors of male perpetrators.
Are Psychopaths Mentally Superior?
Psychopaths are free from guilt, remorse and shame. They don't beat themselves up for doing a bad thing or being a bad person. They never feel the need to apologise. They believe themselves blameless and mentally superior.
CBT for Later Stage Recovery
Trauma feeds the tendency towards distorted thinking leading to emotional disregulation. The antidote is in mindful awareness (being able to notice our thoughts and tolerate our emotions) and choosing self-compassion and the Middle Way (from Buddhist Psychology) instead.
How To Realign With Your Core Values
Recover your sanity by recovering your core values after narcissistic abuse. PTSD is a moral injury sustained from attacks to our core values by a person of no conscience.
Pressing Delete - The Discard Destroy Phases
There will still be shock at the sudden personality change. The mask of the devoted husband has dropped, and what is left is unrecognisable to you – a cold, callous, calculated automaton.
Narcissistic Logic Psychopathic Morality
The principles of a man devoid of empathy, conscience and morals are very simple. I’ll take whatever I want, no matter what the harm to others.
Narcopath or Garden-Variety Jerk
Narcissist, Sociopath, Psychopath or Jerk
Just how dangerous is your ex? Is he just behaving like an angry jerk or is he dangerously manipulative and abusive? Can we ever be friends again?
Education & Awakening
Education. Serious and painful study. Coming to terms with the fact of Dark Triad humans. Caution. This stage can take a long time (years), and be extremely triggering, running parallel to phases to come. Tread carefully.
Shame
Peeling the layers of the onion after a relationship with a narcissistic sociopath keeps you crying until the very last layer has been peeled away. It's the maze of smoke and mirrors he has employed over an extended period of time to wrongly convict you that sinks you. The pain of the shame snare is perhaps greater than the original loss.
Betrayal Trauma
Betrayal trauma is one of the most severe forms of psychological trauma that a human can undergo, yet it is un-acknowledged in our culture (aside from childhood betrayal). This lack of recognition can lead to those betrayed having their trauma minimised and demeaned, thus leading to secondary trauma. Betrayal is a wound to the soul: a deep moral injury.
What Is Moral Injury?
One thing that characterises Narcissistic Abuse from other toxic behaviours is the repeated stealthy violation of our core values. These values bond us to our abuser(s), at the same time as their violation causes us great pain. We are torn. This kind of injury is what is meant by a moral injury.
Manipulation Tactics of a Love Fraud
Here are some manipulation techniques that fly under the radar for those trusting souls amongst us. In order of escalation - as the narcopath tightens the screw.
Not a Normal Break Up
This break-up is different from other break ups you’ve had before. Why? It’s not like you haven’t had a break up before is it? But this one is different. Very, very different. Here’s why…
Is Your Ex a Narcopath?
Here’s how you know that your ex-partner is not neuro-typical (of normal psychological make-up). If he exhibits four or more of these traits regularly and frequently, he’s likely on the narcissistic or sociopathic spectrum.
The Narcissistic Relationship Cycle
Every interpersonal relationship of a narcopath passes through these three (or four) phases as a repetition compulsion. You and I might have a repeating relationship pattern too, and find ourselves drawn time and again to similar types.
What Do You Most Want to Read About?
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Divorce
- Sep 19, 2022 Divorcing a Narcopath
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MindfulnessHealing
- Dec 9, 2023 A Mindful Approach to Recovery Maintenance
- Feb 7, 2023 What to Do When Your Family Blames You
- Aug 10, 2022 Stage 2 of Recovery
- Sep 15, 2021 Shame
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MindfulnessTechniques
- Jul 11, 2023 Shame - The Second Arrow
- Jan 2, 2023 How To Handle a Family Narcissist
- Feb 1, 2021 Antidotes For Reactive Abuse
- Jun 27, 2020 Self-Care for Stress & Trauma
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NarcissisticSociopath
- Sep 9, 2024 Are Psychopaths Mentally Superior?
- Feb 7, 2023 What to Do When Your Family Blames You
- Jan 2, 2023 How To Handle a Family Narcissist
- Nov 15, 2022 Playing Dirty - A Story of Post-Separation Abuse
- Nov 1, 2022 Pressing Delete - The Discard Destroy Phases
- Sep 19, 2022 Divorcing a Narcopath
- Jan 17, 2022 Narcissistic Logic Psychopathic Morality
- Oct 27, 2021 Narcopath or Garden-Variety Jerk
- Aug 23, 2021 Betrayal Trauma
- Aug 29, 2020 FAQ
- Jul 18, 2020 Manipulation Tactics of a Love Fraud
- Jun 18, 2020 Is Your Ex a Narcopath?
- Jun 18, 2020 The Narcissistic Relationship Cycle
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PsychoEducation
- Sep 9, 2024 Are Psychopaths Mentally Superior?
- Dec 26, 2022 CBT for Later Stage Recovery
- Dec 13, 2022 How To Realign With Your Core Values
- Nov 1, 2022 Pressing Delete - The Discard Destroy Phases
- Jan 17, 2022 Narcissistic Logic Psychopathic Morality
- Oct 27, 2021 Narcopath or Garden-Variety Jerk
- Oct 18, 2021 Education & Awakening
- Sep 15, 2021 Shame
- Aug 23, 2021 Betrayal Trauma
- Aug 31, 2020 What Is Moral Injury?
- Jul 18, 2020 Manipulation Tactics of a Love Fraud
- Jul 11, 2020 Not a Normal Break Up
- Jun 18, 2020 Is Your Ex a Narcopath?
- Jun 18, 2020 The Narcissistic Relationship Cycle
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Recovery
- Feb 7, 2023 What to Do When Your Family Blames You
- Jan 2, 2023 How To Handle a Family Narcissist
- Dec 26, 2022 CBT for Later Stage Recovery
- Dec 13, 2022 How To Realign With Your Core Values
- Jul 11, 2022 Is it Contagious?
- Oct 18, 2021 Education & Awakening
- Aug 23, 2021 Secondary Trauma
- Jun 2, 2021 Stage 1 of Recovery
- May 24, 2021 The Stages of Acceptance
- Feb 1, 2021 Antidotes For Reactive Abuse
- Oct 26, 2020 The Role of Repetition Compulsion in Victimisation
- Oct 5, 2020 Why Me?(…of all the fish in the sea?)
- Sep 27, 2020 No Contact Or Limited Contact?
- Aug 20, 2020 Feeling Crazy
- Jul 11, 2020 Not a Normal Break Up
- Jun 27, 2020 Self-Care for Stress & Trauma
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WhatHappenedToYou
- Dec 9, 2023 A Mindful Approach to Recovery Maintenance
- Jul 11, 2023 Shame - The Second Arrow
- Nov 15, 2022 Playing Dirty - A Story of Post-Separation Abuse
- Aug 10, 2022 Stage 2 of Recovery
- Jul 11, 2022 Is it Contagious?
- Jan 17, 2022 Narcissistic Logic Psychopathic Morality
- Oct 27, 2021 Narcopath or Garden-Variety Jerk
- Sep 15, 2021 Shame
- Aug 23, 2021 Secondary Trauma
- Aug 23, 2021 Betrayal Trauma
- Sep 27, 2020 No Contact Or Limited Contact?
- Aug 31, 2020 What Is Moral Injury?
- Aug 29, 2020 FAQ
- Aug 20, 2020 Feeling Crazy
- Jul 18, 2020 Manipulation Tactics of a Love Fraud
- Jul 11, 2020 Not a Normal Break Up
- Jun 26, 2020 Narcissistic Abuse Syndrome
- Jun 26, 2020 Not a Normal Relationship
- Jun 18, 2020 The Narcissistic Relationship Cycle