Traditionally, there are thought to be three stages to trauma recovery across the spectrum of survivors of rape, domestic abuse, torture, and combat. The first stage is restoration of safety. The second stage is remembrance and mourning. The third stage is reconnection with ordinary life. “Like any abstract concept, these stages are a convenient fiction, not to be taken too literally” (Judith Herman, 2015).

If we try to answer this question through the lens of Buddhist psychology, we could distil the answer down to one word: resistance.

Change + resistance = struggle.

Many victims are unconsciously drawn again and again to reconstruct the circumstances in which the original trauma occurred. It is as if the victim tries to re-write the story of their past so that it didn’t happen the way they remember it (as having a devastating and debilitating outcome).

On the whole, narcopaths prey on the kindest, most loyal and generous people. They prey on innocents!
You are not to blame!

Why does this site and every other Narcissistic Abuse support site recommend NO CONTACT? Because he gets a buzz out of inflicting pain on YOU. We loved and trusted him and placed him at the centre of our universe. So, it can take a while to accept he just doesn't care. He never loved us.

Covert Manipulation Techniques
Shine a light and find a vocabulary for the tactics manipulators use to exercise power and control over you.