Episode 9: FAQ

Tips from women who have survived the devastating impact of relationships with pathologically disordered men. Do's and don'ts for handling abandonment, traumatisation and grief.

Responses to the aftermath in survivor case studies are remarkably similar, so……

It’s normal to feel like he’s driven you insane. It’s normal to question whether you are narcissistic like him.

It's normal to want to blame his next host instead of him. It’s normal to vacillate between grief for someone you love and disbelief that anyone who claims to love you could hurt you with such callous disregard.

It’s normal to start seeing psychopaths and narcissists everywhere now you know about them. It’s normal to feel overwhelming compassion and to warn his next host. It’s normal to be horrified at how many lies you believed. It’s normal to feel like you’ve been raped. It's normal to want revenge (resist this - it only escalates his narcissistic rage and doubles his efforts to disable you).

It’s normal to feel like you’ll never recover (you will). It’s normal to be traumatised and lose control of your behaviour - your survival instincts have been triggered. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed by a nightmare no-one else can see and respond with anger and rage, wanting to escape, or collapsing into a frozen state of terror and self-loathing.

It’s even normal to feel suicidal.

This dreadful state of mind has been deliberately DONE to you! You are the victim of unmitigated cruelty.

BUT

You can recover from this. You are stronger than you think. Recovery is a long, winding road.