How does the family scapegoat recover from narcissistic abuse

How to use mindfulness (Grey Rock) and keeping a healthy distance from a narcissist instead of ‘pandering’ or ‘co-dependent’ behaviours.

Trauma feeds the tendency towards distorted thinking leading to emotional disregulation. The antidote is in mindful awareness (being able to notice our thoughts and tolerate our emotions) and choosing self-compassion and the Middle Way (from Buddhist Psychology) instead.

Recover your sanity by recovering your core values after narcissistic abuse. PTSD is a moral injury sustained from attacks to our core values by a person of no conscience.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse can develop anxieties that they have developed a personality disorder as a result of their abuse. Causation is the difference. Trauma can heal, narcissism is pathological.

Education. Serious and painful study. Coming to terms with the fact of Dark Triad humans. Caution. This stage can take a long time (years), and be extremely triggering, running parallel to phases to come. Tread carefully.

There is a weird phenomenon. By blaming the victim. By pointing out how they brought it on themselves. By telling them to 'get over it'. By telling them we don't want to know about their troubles because we have troubles of our own. By relieving ourselves of our duty as family and friends to support and empower rather than belittle and demean, we can cause secondary trauma.

Traditionally, there are thought to be three stages to trauma recovery across the spectrum of survivors of rape, domestic abuse, torture, and combat. The first stage is restoration of safety. The second stage is remembrance and mourning. The third stage is reconnection with ordinary life.

If we try to answer this question through the lens of Buddhist psychology, we could distil the answer down to one word: resistance.

For almost all of us, the crisis is not only circumstantial but existential. We have lost our innocence and woken up to the fact that the world (including humankind) is not the way we thought it was or the way we’d like it to be.

Being highly reactive is a common trauma symptom. Case studies are filled with instances of women being accused of being the abusive one because they responded to the first hidden punch thrown by the narcopath. This is called reactive abuse.

Many victims are unconsciously drawn again and again to reconstruct the circumstances in which the original trauma occurred. It is as if the victim tries to re-write the story of their past so that it didn’t happen the way they remember it (as having a devastating and debilitating outcome).

You are not to blame! On the whole, narcopaths prey on the kindest, most loyal and generous people. They prey on innocents!

Why does this site and every other Narcissistic Abuse support site recommend NO CONTACT? Because he gets a buzz out of inflicting pain on YOU.

Your limbic system kicks in, floods your body with fear hormones and adrenalin and you can shift between wanting to fight, freeze or run for your life, but you just can't regain your normal composure from that moment forth. Your body won't let you. It's in your body.

This break-up is different from other break ups you’ve had before. Why? It’s not like you haven’t had a break up before is it? But this one is different. Very, very different. Here’s why…

We have been neglected and abused for a long time. Now, it is time for intensive self-care.