Trauma feeds the tendency towards distorted thinking leading to emotional disregulation. The antidote is in mindful awareness (being able to notice our thoughts and tolerate our emotions) and choosing self-compassion and the Middle Way (from Buddhist Psychology) instead.

Recover your sanity by recovering your core values after narcissistic abuse. PTSD is a moral injury sustained from attacks to our core values by a person of no conscience.

There will still be shock at the sudden personality change. The mask of the devoted husband has dropped, and what is left is unrecognisable to you – a cold, callous, calculated automaton.

The principles of a man devoid of empathy, conscience and morals are very simple. I’ll take whatever I want, no matter what the harm to others.

Narcissist, Sociopath, Psychopath or Jerk

Just how dangerous is your ex? Is he just behaving like an angry jerk or is he dangerously manipulative and abusive? Can we ever be friends again?

Education. Serious and painful study. Coming to terms with the fact of Dark Triad humans. Caution. This stage can take a long time (years), and be extremely triggering, running parallel to phases to come. Tread carefully.

Peeling the layers of the onion after a relationship with a narcissistic sociopath keeps you crying until the very last layer has been peeled away. It's the maze of smoke and mirrors he has employed over an extended period of time to wrongly convict you that sinks you. The pain of the shame snare is perhaps greater than the original loss.

Betrayal trauma is one of the most severe forms of psychological trauma that a human can undergo, yet it is un-acknowledged in our culture (aside from childhood betrayal). This lack of recognition can lead to those betrayed having their trauma minimised and demeaned, thus leading to secondary trauma. Betrayal is a wound to the soul: a deep moral injury.

One thing that characterises Narcissistic Abuse from other toxic behaviours is the repeated stealthy violation of our core values. These values bond us to our abuser(s), at the same time as their violation causes us great pain. We are torn. This kind of injury is what is meant by a moral injury.

Here are some manipulation techniques that fly under the radar for those trusting souls amongst us. In order of escalation - as the narcopath tightens the screw.

This break-up is different from other break ups you’ve had before. Why? It’s not like you haven’t had a break up before is it? But this one is different. Very, very different. Here’s why…

Here’s how you know that your ex-partner is not neuro-typical (of normal psychological make-up). If he exhibits four or more of these traits regularly and frequently, he’s likely on the narcissistic or sociopathic spectrum.

Every interpersonal relationship of a narcopath passes through these three (or four) phases as a repetition compulsion. You and I might have a repeating relationship pattern too, and find ourselves drawn time and again to similar types.