There is a lingering factor in the aftermath of abuse that is difficult to grasp. Shame. Why does our culture shame victims? One woman's take on dealing with being shamed by others and shaming ourselves. A case study and method for healing shame.

How to use mindfulness (Grey Rock) and keeping a healthy distance from a narcissist instead of ‘pandering’ or ‘co-dependent’ behaviours.

Trauma feeds the tendency towards distorted thinking leading to emotional disregulation. The antidote is in mindful awareness (being able to notice our thoughts and tolerate our emotions) and choosing self-compassion and the Middle Way (from Buddhist Psychology) instead.

There will still be shock at the sudden personality change. The mask of the devoted husband has dropped, and what is left is unrecognisable to you – a cold, callous, calculated automaton.

Break ups from narcissists and psychopaths induce a unique form of grief - disenfranchised grief. This is why.

The principles of a man devoid of empathy, conscience and morals are very simple. I’ll take whatever I want, no matter what the harm to others.

People, to a narcopath, are highly disposable. Once a person has fulfilled their useful purpose as cover, supply or enabler they are discarded.

Betrayal trauma is one of the most severe forms of psychological trauma that a human can undergo, yet it is un-acknowledged in our culture (aside from childhood betrayal). This lack of recognition can lead to those betrayed having their trauma minimised and demeaned, thus leading to secondary trauma. Betrayal is a wound to the soul: a deep moral injury.

If we try to answer this question through the lens of Buddhist psychology, we could distil the answer down to one word: resistance.

For almost all of us, the crisis is not only circumstantial but existential. We have lost our innocence and woken up to the fact that the world (including humankind) is not the way we thought it was or the way we’d like it to be.

You are not to blame! On the whole, narcopaths prey on the kindest, most loyal and generous people. They prey on innocents!

Why does this site and every other Narcissistic Abuse support site recommend NO CONTACT? Because he gets a buzz out of inflicting pain on YOU.

Here are some manipulation techniques that fly under the radar for those trusting souls amongst us. In order of escalation - as the narcopath tightens the screw.

Here’s how you know that your ex-partner is not neuro-typical (of normal psychological make-up). If he exhibits four or more of these traits regularly and frequently, he’s likely on the narcissistic or sociopathic spectrum.